one of the girls i was in inpatient with is back, and worse than ever :( she’s only 13…she’s so young and has so much to live for…and i just wish i could take away all the pain she must be feeling….
pancakes. that is all.
it is such a struggle to eat my night time snack right now…
90 fucking days ago I was on my death bed.
5 ft 8 weighing 98 pounds. FUCK THAT.
and I wouldve fucking kept going if I hadn’t gotten help. I would’ve been literally nothing.
Rant Post
NEWS FLASH: Eating Disorders aren’t just about appearance.
Heck, I freakin loved my body before all of this. I had an ass, my legs were muscular, and I was unbelievably toned. I was so confident in how I looked.
I wish that people would understand how much eating disorders aren’t something we can just control, or choose to start or stop. I would love to get rid of my eating disorder. I would love to be able to go to my old favorite restaurant and eat my favorite chicken pot pie; carefree.
Instead, I have no control over this sick desire to starve myself. Its about my emotions and how my mind chooses to cope.
This isn’t a vanity thing. I wish it was honestly, cause then I’d just get plastic surgery and be over it.
One day I’ll be eating my chicken pot pie again…
triggers
it’s amazing how something so irrelevant to my own being can be so triggering.
emotional breakdown.
i just want to go back to this time last year. i want to take everything back. i want to just go back to a normal happy life. everything sucks.
fail.
they don’t even make clothes that fit my frame anymore.
a part of me hates it because I can’t fit into anything.
the other part of me loves it because it’s showing a shift in this shitty society of ours that is so proud of those who can claim to be a size 0.
They say that true love hurts, well, this could almost kill me. Young love murdered, that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone, alone.
